My husband and I recently celebrated our third wedding anniversary 🥂 Even though we’ve been together over 12 years, the last three as a married couple have been something truly special. And while I spend most of my time helping couples create their dream elopements, I thought I’d take a moment to reflect on our own wedding and share what my own wedding has taught me.

Our wedding had about 75 guests — big enough to feel festive, small enough to feel personal. We’re both very close to our families and friends, so for us, having them around was the right choice. And honestly? It’s still one of the best weddings I’ve ever been to (I might be a little biased, but I really mean it 😅).

Here are the three lessons we learned from our wedding that I think every couple—whether planning a big wedding, a micro-wedding, or an elopement—should know.

1. Choose the wedding that feels most like you

It doesn’t matter if that means a 100-person party or a private sunrise ceremony in the Dolomites—what matters is that it feels authentic. Don’t plan a big wedding just because you think you should. If being the center of attention stresses you out, don’t do it. If you want adventure, elope. If you want family, gather them close. Your wedding should feel like you two. In our case, since we are so close to our friends and family and we are used to celebrating everything with them, this kind of wedding was very true to us. This is why we haven’t regretted it.

2. Invest in what elevates the experience & creates lasting memories

Throughout our planning, we asked ourselves one question: Will this create lasting memories for us? If yes, we invested. If no, we kept it simple.

For us, this meant:

• Hiring both a photographer and a videographer (memories we’ll cherish forever)
• Choosing wedding rings we truly loved— I happened to fall in love with one that has 15 diamonds on it… I still adore it every day 💍 Worth every penny!
• Hiring a “wedding father” (a very Estonian thing — think MC meets day-of coordinator!) so we could fully relax and enjoy the day

And on the flip side, things like invitations, seating charts, and signs that have no purpose after the event? We kept them minimal and inexpensive. No regrets there either.

3. Hiring an experienced planner/coordinator

Investing in an experienced “wedding father” was the best thing we did. I’ve been a project manager most of my adult life and I am used to having full control of everything. BUT I did not want to take care of anything on my wedding day. It was essential for me to find someone I can fully trust to take over the whole coordination. And we did find one. From the moment we started talking he just took the initiative. He guided, gave us vendor recommendations etc. On the day of, he never turned to me about any worries – he handled everything on the back-end without ever worrying us. Thanks to him we were able to enjoy every second of our wedding day.

This is one of the reasons I offer my couples so much. Just so that they could feel the same way we did – totally stress-free, relaxed and with time to take it all in and enjoy! I will help and guide my couples from our first phone call, I give vendor recommendations. I provide them with all the necessary information and guides. Answer questions they didn’t even know they had. I coordinate all other vendors and if they want I can even book and pay them too. I want my couples to start enjoying your elopement + honeymoon as soon as you sit on the airplane!

4. Decide beforehand to enjoy your day—no matter what happens

This was maybe the most important one. We decided we’ll work on wedding stuff up until the evening before the wedding and from there on we have two jobs: say “yes” and enjoy everything! We agreed in advance that if something went wrong, it wouldn’t ruin the day. And trust me, a few things did go wrong:

• My dress was cut shorter, but on the day of the wedding we discovered it was still too long, so my hairdresser literally cut off 7cm (~2.8 inches) right before the ceremony ✂️
• My hair lost its curls due to the rain (I don’t know why I even thought that on this day the curls would hold if they never do? 🤯😂), so we went with a last-minute straightened look (decided 15 minutes before walking down the aisle!)
• I wasn’t satisfied with my bouquet because it came in a wrong color tone and didn’t match my dress at all—so I ditched it completely and walked down the aisle without one.

But because we’d already decided nothing would disrupt our joy, those little “mishaps” became funny memories instead of stress points.

5. Don’t choose wedding professionals based on their price

We were lucky to have wonderful vendors overall, and they truly helped make our day run smoothly. But one thing we learned is how important it is to choose vendors you fully trust—not just the ones who offer the lowest price.

We booked our videographer because he was more affordable, and we were fine with a longer delivery time that came with his service. But life threw him some unexpected challenges, and as a result, we didn’t receive our wedding film until over two years later. While we’re still grateful to have those memories captured, the long wait was tough.

Because of this poor experience after the wedding, even though the wedding video turned out okay, I just can not look at with an awe. The same can be with the photos. It doesn’t matter how stunning the photos turn out. If the memory of taking of those photos is poor (you didn’t feel comfortable or guided enough etc), then you just won’t love the photos. It’s not just about the final photos or film — it’s about how you feel while they’re being created.

Looking back, I realize how valuable trust and reliability are. Weddings are one-time events—you only get one shot. If I could give one piece of advice, it would be this: invest in vendors you feel confident in, even if it means stretching the budget. The peace of mind is worth every cent.

Conclusion

So whether you’re planning an elopement in the mountains or a wedding at home surrounded by friends, I hope these lessons help. Do what feels like you, invest in what matters, make the decision to enjoy it—no matter what and invest in trustworthy vendors. 💕

Other blog posts you might be interested in:
How the All-Inclusive Option Makes Your Elopement Stress-Free
The exclusive elopement planning resources my couples get
How to elope in Italy?